fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
