i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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