reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
