I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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