we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
My vagina is very pro this idea
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
