so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
