I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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