Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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