Me. At least after what I've been through.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
