kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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