My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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