so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
