Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
