we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Someone stole a lamp last night.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
