D3 body, D1 cock
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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