Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
