watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I'm sobbing to NWA
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
