Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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