I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
you inspire me to be a worse person
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
