They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Two words: blizzard sex
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize