some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
