I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
