just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
