you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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