My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Who died my cat blue again?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
