hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I just want nice things and good sex
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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