But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
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