So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
