My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
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My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
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Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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