i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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