how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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