would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
