Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize