A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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