Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
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we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
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My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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