Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize