dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
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