Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
