were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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