I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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