I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
