Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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