so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I am available for nakedness
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
