Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
