porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
