Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
