I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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