You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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