Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
