Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
