The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
