Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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