I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
