Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize