I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
