you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
