You really coming over, don't trick.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
