My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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